After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
