She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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