it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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