Acid is not a monday night drug
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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