One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
