no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
