I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
