Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
