Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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