he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
