and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
