What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
