Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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