When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
