hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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