Sry I called you an 8
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
