I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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