No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
