I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
