Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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