I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
