I molested 6 butterflies tonight
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Green mimosas i think yes
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
