Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
