Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There r osticjed everywhere
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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