shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
