Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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