She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
