The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
