Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
