It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
