so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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