So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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