he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
