My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize