his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
