Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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