Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
