You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
