3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
porn star boner night. come get it.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
