Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
