She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Everything about him screamed your future.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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