We're facebook friends in real life
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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