There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
