So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
