whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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