i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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