On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Its about making memories worth repressing
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
