We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
