Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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