Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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