If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
