I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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