drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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