I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
