so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just invented taco cereal.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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