Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
