So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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