The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize